Lack of sexual relations in a couple: a source of instability

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Extract from the article: There are many factors that can cause a lack of sexual appetite. Stress, generally the cause of physical discomfort, sadness, anxiety, insomnia and lack of appetite. Not wanting or not wanting to have sexual relations with your partner is synonymous

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There are many factors that can cause a lack of sexual appetite. Stress, generally the cause of physical discomfort, sadness, anxiety, insomnia and lack of appetite. Not wanting or not wanting to have sexual relations with your husband or your wife is synonymous with an illness that must be treated.

Lack of sexual appetite is a very common problem, given the craze for chemical products to strengthen the body, the many ‘gris-gris’ and ‘aphrodisiac’ drugs. Generally speaking in Africa, and specifically in Togo, the frequency of sexual disorders is very difficult to assess because medical help is rarely sought. Men prefer to discreetly buy ‘gris-gris’ from the marabout, the ‘alpha’ or the ‘houno’, or from an unknown healer; ask a trusted friend for advice, or go to the small street drug seller. Unfortunately, this state of affairs can have harmful consequences for a man's health or lead to a complete loss of sexual desire.

Since many sexual problems are caused by stress, improvements can often be achieved in the case of major or temporary problems. The main thing is to consult a sexologist or psychologist.

When should I start to worry about not having sex?

This depends on the age of the partners.Normally, for people aged between 20 and 35, sexual intercourse should take place, on average, three times a week. From 36 to 50, one or two times every fortnight.After the age of 50, it all depends on the couple's lifestyle and any illnesses they may have.Here, one sexual encounter every fortnight may suffice for both partners.However, these variations do not reflect the reality of each individual couple. They are statistical averages linked to the ageing of all the functions of the human body.In reality, this only becomes a problem when the couple's abstinence reaches or exceeds two months, when the man and woman are living together on a daily basis. From this point onwards, there is often poor communication, which increases the tension between husband and wife. This leads to reproaches, suspicions, insults, blows, and all the things that are incompatible with sexual desire. Guilt, another merciless enemy of lack of sexual desire, sets in. If the couple are not careful, they plunge into a vicious circle that can lead to infidelity, marital discontent, anxiety and, very often, divorce. 

The benefits of sex for couples

According to couple specialist Dr Richard Dabrowshi, author of the book ‘La dépression dite nerveuse’, the sexual act itself has a tranquillising and euphoric effect that should not be overlooked.To this end, this doctor makes an excellent classification of the means of combating anxiety and stress.In order of effectiveness, he lists: sexual relations, sport (any sport that keeps you fit), alcohol in moderation, tranquillising drugs.

Sexual impulses are a key factor in the psyche of adults and adolescents.

Winning back your husband without looking like a nymphomaniac

 When a man's sexual desire decreases, the woman should not be compelled to have as much sex as possible.The woman needs to be able to detect the cause.It is often obvious.Perhaps he's ill, has worries and doesn't know how to talk about them; he's angry with the woman and is waiting for her to make the first move; he has family problems, financial difficulties, etc.The woman's interest in her man's concerns brings her closer and closer to him.This rapprochement is decisive for the couple, because sexual intercourse is the culmination of acceptance of the other, which thus becomes intimate to ease internal tensions.

Women should also be aware that they can communicate with their men non-verbally. If a man notices that his wife is changing, or if he sees that she is making an effort (diet, sport, etc.), his attention will be drawn back to her.By paying more attention to her perfume, the new hairstyle, the new way she dresses, the man will get closer again, if you know how to present all this with discretion and finesse.But if, despite everything, he remains indifferent, seek advice from a specialist in couple therapy if possible.In such a situation, it is vital that the couple do everything they can to resume sexual relations. Because without sexual relations, the couple is almost drained, which very often gives way to marital and collateral damage.

Recipe: Orange and peppermint juice

Recipe: 1 Madeira glass of orange juice, 1 Madeira glass of peppermint tea, 1 teaspoon of honey, 2 teaspoons of lemon juice.Preparing this drink is very simple.All you have to do is mix the ingredients well and drink the mixture before sex.Peppermint tea will help delay ejaculation by relaxing the muscles.Vitamin C, contained in orange juice and lemon juice, combats erectile dysfunction and increases the quality, quantity and mobility of sperm.

William O.